Shit, Strength and Beauty

Our dear shepherd mix, Zohra, has been sick for the better part of 6 weeks. What started as a bacterial infection treatable with antibiotics is becoming more disconcerting. Two rounds of antibiotics have not cleared up the diarrhea, and the new onset of vomiting and shaking. In the 10 years we've had her she's struggled with this off and on, roughly once a year. This time it's been going on with varying intensity since December. I'm beginning to wish I had called this blog "Lice, Ice, Bitches, Barf and Shit." Hold that thought...

One of my summer goals was to work out more. In grad school I worked out 5 days a week. When I first started at RU 4 days a week was typical. This past year 2 or 3 was all I could fit in. Happily, last week I worked out 5 days (Mon-Fri), every morning before the day got away from me. I'm on track this week to do the same thing. Hurray. Despite that the number on the scale was up one pound yesterday. Grrr.

A related goal was to get better at running. When I was pregnant with J I was comfortable running into the 8th month, albeit at a slower pace. I resumed after she was born. I could comfortably handle 5 miles at a time but often did more. I did the Bix, a 7 mile run renowned in Davenport, IA, 3 times without difficulty. I could push my speed to 7mph and regularly did that for decent intervals during a typical 40-60 minute run.

All of that changed with my pregnancy with K. I had to stop running about 3 months in. It felt like my uterus was trying to escape and my joints were on fire every time I tried! After she was born I tried to get back into it with mixed success. When I coached for Girls on the Run the first time in 2015 I felt great, but the 5K that culminated that season made my knee hurt a lot. I had to scale way back and I've been trying to climb back up since.

Lately I've been targeting 3 miles per run, generally trying to make most of that time in the 10 minute mile/6mph range with some parts slower and some faster. While the desire to run longer has been there for a while, this morning I finally got my ass out of bed early enough to do so and ran 3.6 miles, the vast majority of it in the 10 min/mile zone. IT FELT AWESOME!!!

Then I went upstairs to get M's birthday gift out of the car which required going through the laundry room. And this brings me back to Zohra.

Her symptoms have been so unpredictable and often really bad at night. A few times we've woken up to dog shit and vomit throughout the main level of our house. To avoid that we've taken to putting her dog bed in the laundry room and putting her in there for bed. Another advantage to this is she isn't as spry as she used to be and going up/down stairs is becoming harder. This way she doesn't have to do that. You have to go through the laundry room to get to our garage. As soon as I opened the door this morning I could smell dog shit, pee and vomit. She'd had a really rough night. I immediately grabbed her leash and took her on a walk.

Normally M walks her in the morning and I walk her before bed. I wanted her to have fresh air, a good stretch, and the chance to do anything else unsavory OUTSIDE. I had just run 3.5 miles. I had on unflattering running shorts, an ugly headband that made the back part of my hair stick up in crazy ways, my regular glasses, a totally sweat-soaked shirt, and legs that hadn't been shaved in a least a week. I hadn't thought about any of that when I grabbed the leash. It occurred to me partway down the block when I inhaled the smell of flowers and thought about the lovely temperature.

After a split second twinge of embarrassment I realized none of those things about my appearance mattered. I had just completed a GREAT run of a distance and pace most of my friends and family would balk at. Yes, my weight appeared to be up a pound yesterday, but my clothes fit the same, my abs and shoulders look awesome, and I look great, regardless of all of that, regardless of my body hair, because I am healthy, STRONG, and POWERFUL.  Now THAT's a recipe for beauty.

Strong and healthy in 2017. More of the same in 2018!