Feminist moming #1-my invisible public service has ended

The girls and I were just a little excited that M’s city council term was finally over on Tuesday!! The girls decided to dress fancy and chose my clothes and accessories. Not pictured, the array of chocolate J put together for him, the beer I picked up in the most contactless way possible, dinner delivered from a local restaurant, K checking on him as he was banished to the deck while the preparations took place. J declared it “annual dad day” because the word “annual” sounded good even though she didn’t know what it meant.

There’s a reason volunteers and the civically engaged tend to be older and retired, from what I’ve observed. 1-3 evening meetings every week for 3.5 yrs. Most were 2-4 hrs each. Many were the first Mon of the month type ones, but there were lots of additional ones that came up with a week’s or few days’ notice. Society benefits from a variety of perspectives and the service of younger people and those with young families, but this configuration isn’t healthy. I put this down as community service in my tenure dossier bc his ability to serve on the council and its different committees while raising 2 little kids was possible thanks to me. Helping him to serve was my way of serving. For many people, civic engagement hinges on a hidden partner. And not just volunteers. Many of the nurses, doctors, police officers, grocery store workers, nursing home workers, and other critical people also depend on hidden partners.

When it’s safe to do so, I’m eager to get involved with some great organizations and enjoy being the visible one who gets to rely on her hidden partner.